20 May 2009

This is a true story about finding drugs in the stove

Examine the above picture. Note the stove, the gnocchi and the small bag containing a crystalline white substance.

Earlier tonight, I was at Dreya's apartment, whipping up some gnocchi for dinner. Obviously, I dropped one of the gnocchi and it rolled through the burner down underneath the stove top where I couldn't reach it.

Lose One Turn!

Grumble grumble...turned off the stove and moved the frying pan and took the top off the stove and poked around amid food bits for the errant piece of gnocchi.

That's when I noticed what appeared to be a tiny zip-lock bag hiding amidst the crumbs and burnt food scraps.

Look at the picture again.

Uhhhhhhh.....yeah. This is either really good meth or really shitty coke. The bag was all covered with gunk so I figure it's been in there for years. From the way the powder was all clumped up, I think somebody stashed their blow in the stove and forgot about it (or got arrested) and it just kept getting cooked and cooled over and over again...maybe we've discovered some new coke/crack hybrid without all the additives? Could be a bonanza for the right team of chemists and salespeople...

PS Dreya swears it's not hers.


eestoneloc... dr.j said...

WOW! You're living the dream. For years I've been looking for a way to make that Trader Joes gnocchi better!
Living the dream.

suddenlyshida said...

LTD! Mr. Tone!

So lemme get this straight - according to Mr. Murder, one should ...

1.never talk on the phone in yo house
2.never slang dope out yo panda lady house
3. never fuck w/ da cheeez?!
4. keep it low key
5. and if ya makin foodz, ninja don’t drop dat gnoochi!

Innocent said...


done and done

KRITIOS said...


Garrett Glaude said...

Plate, stove, cook, try...let me know how it works out