07 March 2009

Saturday Stories

(if you want, you should totally add to this...) xo

Imaginary people, places & events in real life ™

by Shidalou

She was a very tall woman. For her age. She asked way too many
questions. For her height. She was what many would call “a handsome
woman.” She had decided to take it as a compliment, as it was one of
the few.

On the evening of Maypril 17th, there was a particular something in
the air. Kind of a viscous substance. Jelly. It was jelly. There was
jelly kind of, drippling from the Stonemoss tree on a branch just
above Diana’s head. Smucker’s Apple to be precise. The remnants of a
fight between Daniel & David, Krosshatch Lane’s answer to the
infamous, Marvin & Morgan.

Daniel had been gone all night, again. Listening to the likes of
Doozeberry & Finnegan on the old time music machine. Late nights often
turn to earliest mornings which can only mean one thing: BISCUITS! So
off they trampled into the street to Ma Frachetti’s Boarding House
where those hot tasty love lumps flowed like a lava lamp in a terrible
Fox sitcom about the time between 1969 and 1980. There was Don
Cornerlius Sousa, Jimmy “the fish technician” Maxwell, Kerri-Anne
Whipplewhite and Leroy, the Asian girl. Ma F had the delicious
dumplings fresh from the oven! Daniel damn near tripped over her
newest blue-haired Russian, Percy to get to those hot little boppers.
He grabbed up 3 in one hand, swung Ma F around by her apron springs in
a swirl that would make Bob Fosse proud, and sauntered off into the
new dawning day.

David, on the other hand, had been up all night, again. Listening to
the sounds of neighbors Fresh & Sylvia “getting it on” (as they call
it) and to the “soundtrack” (as they named it) that they “got it on”
(you get the point) played. David, a classically-trained
contra-bassoonist couldn’t take ONE MORE NIGHT of the sloppy basslines
pumping anymore. He wanted to get out, but he felt trapped. Daniel
loved that he waited up for him, and what’s more, he loved that he
waited, crouched behind the door, dressed in only a hockey mask,
garter belt and silver evening gloves. It was the little things.

So David waited. And waited. And waited. The sky on Krosshatch Lane
melted from Midnight moose blue to Terrapin coal blue in a matter of
hours. Something wasn’t quite right. David had a bad feeling about
this one. Something broke in him! He knew. It was those DAMNED
BISCUITS! Jimmy Maxwell and his proficiencies with fish! He knew that
it was him that likely led them ALL to Ma F’s for a little “night
cap”. Well NO MORE! David didn’t even bother to put on his old terry
cloth robe and skipper slippers. He grabbed one item. A fresh, 8oz
jar, of Smuckers, Lo-Fat, No-Sugar Apple Jelly. Daniel was a
borderline diabetic, ran in the family. And off he went to the window
… to wait.

***

2 comments:

Moquel said...

DAMNED BISCUITS!!!! Loff.

Dan B said...

I think they're both the same guy, like in Fight Club